I submitted two questions, neither of which was addressed during the Q&A. I was bummed because I really wanted to hear her perspective, but during a morning journal session two months ago, I realized that I had inadvertently answered one of my questions.
Here’s some background to my question: Marianne discussed the process of spiritual surrender being about releasing tight grips on agendas that set out to make certain things happen, e.g. must close the sale with prospect #1 today no matter what.
Enter a different approach: The spiritual surrender is about going in softly and operating from an available space that allows things to happen. Pretty much not being such a hard ass (my words, not hers) about manufacturing certain outcomes which takes us out of the moment and objectifies the person we’re speaking with as a task that much be accomplished rather than a living breathing person with their own needs, wants and feelings.
So my question was: I am in total agreement for making myself empty, surrendering my agenda and allowing things to happen. At the same time, where do setting goals and setting intentions fit into this perspective? For instance, do I no longer set 6-month, annual, 5-year (etc.) goals anymore? Or is there a way to marry goal-setting with being an empty vessel for Spirit to work through?
A simple example I can think of illustrating this point is that I may set an intention to go to dance class after work; however, halfway into my workday I get an intuitive hit to skip class and go meet up with a group of friends instead. I follow that hit and end up having an amazing evening I would not have had if I had stuck to my agenda.
Now how does this work on “bigger” goals like launching a program or business by a set time frame or reaching the high 6-figure mark in income within 2 years? My challenge has been releasing detachment to those high-ticket manifestations I deeply desire.
Okay, so here’s my inspired writing from July 27, 2013: High ticket, low ticket: it’s the same. Just let go. Set the intention. Then forget it. Receive the good luck by setting it and forgetting it. Work backwards as a way to set milestones but in all you do pray, commune with the Divine. Meditate often. Do the work for sure, but watch and realize your mindset as you do the work. Is it masculine focused: achieve-go-get-at-any-cost-self-worth-tied-to-the-outcome oriented? Or do you come from the energy of “I’ll take the action and step away energetically and let it all unfold how and when it’s supposed to?”
Probably not exactly what you’d want to hear. I want to hear do x, y and z then 1, 2 and 3 will happen at 5:45pm tomorrow. But operating my life under this model led to a whole lot of disappointment because, unfortunately or fortunately (you decide) I don’t get to dictate when many things transpire. If I did, I would’ve hit certain goals 5-8 years ago. For whatever reasons I may never fully know, those things didn’t happen. There are many things I just do not control.
So what, now what? Does this mean I stop goal setting? Nope. My approach to the whole matter is what shifts. I actually used to live my life (and sometimes slip back into it when I’m not mindful) from the go-get model. I think schooling contributed heavily to that. You study for this test, get the grade and move on to the next level of achievement.
But this model stopped working so great after college. I needed to live from a softer space so that while I’m doing the getting, I can actually breathe and enjoy my life instead of holding my breath to be in joy when I get the bells, whistles, cash and prizes.
Here’s the thing about life, and I’m sure you might be able to attest. You reach one peak and then you start to see the crags and fissures on the path to the next peak you decide to ascend. What happens to your joy then if it’s always about reaching the next peak? You enjoy the summit for a minute before it’s off to the next.
My recurring life lesson for the past year (at least) has been about making sure the joy is in the journey by releasing the reins on the path to achieving. Who am I being as I venture along, up, around and about?
So ask yourself, where’s the breath in whatever you aim to achieve? Do you have internal serenity or is your identity so tied up in having or not that you’re up when it feels like you’re going somewhere and down when it feels like there’s no traction? Check out some of my previous and relevant episodes about success.
I would love to hear your thoughts down below.
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